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Monday, August 3, 2009

对不起。谢谢你,让我知道我不能这样子下去。。。



刚刚和我的coursemate,X起了小争执。。。
当时候真的是有够气的。。。

我最讨厌被人诬赖的啦。。

我只是听不清楚lecturer叫得名字是我们的华人coursemate, Y名字(nama samaran)或是马来coursemate,Z的名字(nama samaran),因为字音读出来是差不多一样的。。。过后听lecturer说他没有出席,我就奇怪,怎么会没出席?
X就用一贯的语气说:“什么,lecturer是叫Z啦,你知道我们班上有人是跟Y名字差不多的吗?你给Y听到,他一定找你算账!”

再次声明:我是听不清楚哦。。。

过后我就对他说:“我知道啦,我刚才听不清楚ok。你知道Z的全名吗?
X听了开始不爽。“不懂”。“你知道mieh?”

我就说了:“Q_______”。

“这个是全名mieh?”

我说:“我是说真名,不是全名”(我当时后真的是要问真名,要问全名我都不懂啦。。。)

“哇,我都不知道原来你酱会转话的啊?。。。”

(无言。。。接下来,我选择沉默。。。)

Haiz… just a small thing, why can happened to this stage?
How could I lose control of my emotion because of that?
But that let me know the truth of a person…
I won’t blame the person… because the person was just being so real suddenly…

我的观照心还在,可是愿力弱了,渐渐地容易被嗔怒恶魔缠绕“我”,我不可以再这样下去。。。我要去一根一根地拔掉这些嗔丝。。。




4 comments:

  1. truely speaking.. from my observation, nowadays u quite easy to lost ur patience.. especially to our coursemates.. i dunno y, guess maybe some of the values r different..? maybe u've realize tat life n time is reli reli important in u.. but sometimes, we cant blame someone just as u said.. they dint go through what we'd gone through, n we dint go through what they'd gone through.. but actly u knew all of these n how these r going on rite? so just take care la =) of ur heart...sutra..
    sutta rama? hehe =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. well, looks like we'd faced the samethings... i mean loosing control on ourselve. although we knew it wasnt others fault... bt... u jz cant control it...
    all the best, dear..
    we'll be there for you..!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 朋友...
    深呼吸...
    静深思...
    能让心情平静...~

    加油...!!!

    凌~

    ReplyDelete
  4. 愤怒和感恩的力量只是一线之差,
    他们的能量也差不多。
    该生气时生气有时会比压抑自己的感觉更好。
    不懂,这只是个人想法。
    像上次你生气我时。。。
    我不是记仇,而是在你骂我的当下对某件事顿悟。
    所以,现在才会注意那些事。
    谢谢和加油吧。

    ReplyDelete

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